Tuesday, February 21, 2006
was havin some unpleasant things with my mummy...
i muz say i hav sum displease with recent her...
i found my wallet empty...then found out my family is in economy crisis...
then end up my blame...becos stupid am i 4 for not countin d no. of times for my lesson...
she say i will ganna cheated...haiz...tmr hav to visit bank...
i haven even started spenting...
had 2 save more now...s0o as to enjoy my holiday...guess 200+100 should be enough...
back to d issue of being made use...i juz dun care...
i am now more awake...after previous days of hibernating like a pig...think should start fighting liao...thk to ほった ゆみ!
i am now clearer abt my target...i am not going U...so AD i wun force myself to get it...think i will prefer to work than study...
i wun be blogging these few weeks...my apologies, cos i will be focusing myself...to be sumone i really wanna be...there is a sentence tat i still dun understand..."To create, u have to destroy".
Does it means i had to die to be reborn? Searching for ans again...
reflected at 9:46:00 PM
Monday, February 20, 2006
yesterday...the best thing ever happen to me is to take 2 songs starting when i left home to boon lay interchange...it is simply miracle...the moment i reached d bustop...the bus came...when there is another bus stopping infront the bustop...my bus overtake...juz suddenly a lorry infront...he made a sharp left turn...wow...a quick Z turn i ever experience...
i tot i can start tuition early so i could end early to catch my show "catch me if u can"...in d end tmy student haven return...i dunno where to go...suddenly tot of stan's hse nearby...luckily he is returning home from jp 0so...
after tuition...went to eat dinner...with peace i am grateful abt...the tables ard d stall is all occupied..so went another side to sit...in d end d sugarcane auntie came n asked "boy, u sit here today?"...haha i think they r familiar with me liao...every sun...today d sugarcane very GREEN...sweet lor...fried kway tiao 0so nice...muhahaha, a wonderful meal...pity is tat i gotto rush...for my show...
today...nothing much...felt like i turning into pig...not because of piglet...but i had to slping more than 12hrs...the more i slp the more dizzy i get...when can i start my personal training?
the war tat i declared..toward myself...i think i am losing utterly...my habit is starting to master me as time goes by...i am losing my self control...remembered tat my sec one teacher gave me a birthday card...it says "Master ur habit or it masters U"... i dun wanna be defeated...who can give me d strength to live well...d correct way...i searching for my ans...sumone says he need 10yr...he is gifted...wat abt me? 20yrs...or 100yrs? i hope i wun give up...for d ans i desired long ago...
holiday coming...planning now...listed in pt form...
1) bbq for class outing...
some ppl haven paid...hope it goes well...dun rain pls...
2) meet my 1 year old frenz...abt la...cos i knew him since last may...
going to play pool...making it a habit of holiday gathering...he improved alot...rich guy...hope i wun ganna crashed...cos recently saving money nv went pool liao...can ask him abt hp info 0so...i wanna change phone...tat one of d reason i saving money...
3) go out with my stan, joyce n most importantly cka...
hope to play, Play...swimming? or singing?
4) travel ard sg by foot
hope to visit all libraries for chess books...n 0so all popular to search for my GREEN earpieces
5) finish my chess books...
intensive training to beat tat fatty...
6) buy chess books at expo book exhibition...can visit beier 0so...muahaha
tat all for d moment...hope i can return chess club soon...
reflected at 3:24:00 PM
Saturday, February 18, 2006
yipee...it's raining!
yesterday caught in d rain t0o, HaPpY wEtTiNg...
oPps...
he ignored me...my transparent presence...guess i had angered them...if tis continue...should i be smart enough to ignore them to prevent unnecessary embrassassment? I dun wanna things to happen like tis...how i wish i am blind so tat i could lose touch with my surrounding...or get drunk so tat i can be a happy idiot, 0so can try hypnotise myself to lose all my memory...
math...its failing...60%...
my body...its failing 0so...
nothing much yesterday...except d nail polish thing...
ACETONE is
CRYing...
wondering y...
mayb cos i ans d no. of hydrogen correctly...
i dun think its my fault:
___KICK MY AsS___
reflected at 5:09:00 PM
Thursday, February 16, 2006
erm...irritated by my hair...quite not in a gd mood during sch...
but today breakfast is special cos i made myself dino^^
then went on bus...quite pleasant, except for some malay guys laughing behind...
reached np met my frenz...hope thermo turns out well for both of us...
thermo tutorial nothing much...stories again...
thermo lec...nothing much 0so, oni remember funny videos which shown ppl ganna injured...
then release early wet galileo...bad service again...then went washroom n shifted my hair aside...woa...the dark cloud infront of me disappeared...
first time took 52 to JE...joyce looking 4 job
then we went back boon lay...took bus with stan...praying my student had returned home...
today tuition not bad neither...
s0o well today...but i still feel sad in me..dunno y? Sumtin is missing in me...but wat is it?
reflected at 6:35:00 PM
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
wat had i am doing? nothing.
wat had i been living for? nothing.
wat am i g0od at? nothing.
s0o...wat am i? good-for-nothing.
reflected at 7:42:00 PM
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
today...quite sad...
ipc...expt ok...last time c her lor...weird feeling...
then do thermo project...abit of friction...
presentation...he very strict...d printer juz sux...then i asked sumtin tat made the other grp unhappy...s0o s0rry...i juz know nothing...
d chem e car FAILED...so SAD...
i am tired...damn shit...
reflected at 6:10:00 PM
Monday, February 13, 2006
woke up at 2am study math...getting abit used to integration...but still haven fully master yet...haiz...i think i should next time slp early for math test...cos i fell aslp at 7.30 for abt 15min...couldnt finish last few chps...rushed to sch...thk god tat i managed to catch d bus juz on time...i was like running all d way to bustop...then d bus crowded...reached np abit late...when i saw d high slope from cant1 i was like collasping...but i still carry on running...reach there juz b4 paper start...sat there with d paper n my mind was blank...i realise i seriously duno how to use calculator...last qn 0so duno how to do...buang...
thermo..nothing much...i doesnt seem to like thermo alot...
break..i tot i no need to do those pouring stuffs...in d end i had to stand under d sun wear gloves...my long green shirt summo, haiz...wheels problems haven solved yet...den was thinking of d problem again n again...duno where it lies...went for bio...
his last lecture in np...he was a nice guy...i tot i practical failed...in d end 57...frightening...
he was abit tired with us when explaining corrections with those BASTARDs n IDIOTs behind making noises...he was abt to walk out of d lec..even ppl who made noise infront r very automatic...they even tot off going away...how i wish those behind who think tat they r smart ass wiil juz get lost...he shared with us his personal working experience...i will nv go exonmoblie...i will support shell n beat them....he is definitely a gd lecturer..though his chp r diff to understand...he would give tips n set d paper tat very easy to score...some may disagree with me...but compared to sec bio which is whole lot of notes...we oni had ppt slides....summarised n those qn tested r mainly key words types...last time in sec days i always pray tat my teacher will giv ppt instead of asking us to copy notes...now i get wat i wan...yet i still nv even treasured it...
he released us early...went to solve out d problem of chem e car...finally know d reason...abit excited...but we r late for ipc...so rushed to d LT...
today my main reason of blogging... I MET HER...quite a long time...mayb 3 years ago orso...
she is still d same...nothing changed in her...her voice is still sweet...her smile is still sweet...her face 0so...i didnt expect to meet her in tat time n situation...nor did i ever wondered to meet her in poly...esp np...i was shocked...i didnt went up to ask her name...she was selling some tickets for charity...i juz hated her to c me in tat yucky condition...as she appoaches...as she leaves...i try to be as nature as possible...i think she couldnt had recognised me...cos i changed so much...uglier i think...think of d past again...hope she living well...but how come i didnt c her bf? she so pretty...even stan n cka agree...esp cka..u wanna him to say a girl is pretty is almost impossible...stan worst still..ask me to use her as an average to judge others...u know i wun do tat...if i ever do tat...i duno how much ugly girls i would hav met in a day...cos she is too beautiful...felt like singing "U're Beautiful"...i was damn contented to c her again...happy for d rest of d days...i felt my whole body turning jelly...or izzit d soury acidic effect...
ipc..revision...she was teaching...again disrespectful ppl out there...i will show them how smart ass they r with my tis sem result...i will prove it in d name of silent
during lec played chess with ivan...den msn with my Christian friend...think i will let him down...i losing my faith...day n day passes...i had forgoten abt d morning prayer tat i had for 4 years...even chess...it has been quite some time since i touched them...wat is happening to me...
wat had i been living for d past few weeks...i will search for d ans myself during holiday...
on bus...saw a Buddhist old man...he is an damn actor...tat type of siao actor i hated...after stan n cka left at clementi...i sat at d last row...infront of me is two lady...then the stupid actor...he chanting loudly in d crowded bus like nobody business...den he ask the ladies behind him for tissues...later he ask them for handphone...he claimed tat he wanted to call back home to ask his wife for dinner...they r smart enough to lie tat their handphones no battery...he pestered again...one of d girls told him to borrow from d guy beside him...the guy 0so pro...able to slp with a lunatic making funny noises beside him..although i know one of d verse he was chanting...everyone was looking at him...knowing his obivous motive...later he got off...everyone sighed a relieved...
for those ppl who had helped me b4...i won't forget ur help...if i cant return u these favors...i will in return give my help to other...i wan tis world to be filled with warmth...
for those ppl who hate me...i oni can let u all hate me...wat can i do? i oni yearn for peace...
reflected at 10:18:00 PM
Sunday, February 12, 2006
I am so
FORTUNATE...i saw a
big biG bIG BIG M**N!!!!!!
today woke n slp...slp n woke...with wonderful music...
went for tuition...quite pleasant today...den at d bustop called cka chat abt sch...
then discuss abt someone...abit worried...but i will
help him.
went to eat...thk God for d wonderful dinner i had...
went to stan hse study...he down with flu...hope he gt well soon...
on d way back home...tat is d most happy moment i had...d
cloudless night...with a big RoUnD Mo0n tat lightened up my
DAY...saw a signboard on d way tat say "
we r a part, not apart"...think of it again n again...full of meaning...a n part r separated...yet they meaning together...juz like hydrogen n oxygen r flammable gases...yet when they r together...they r water tat put out fire...Mother Nature is so Mighty...think of
GREEN again...
i am asking myself tis qn...do i still love her...i am unsure...hope she dun like me...i will
hypo myself not to love her...i am selfish again...
reflected at 10:29:00 PM
Saturday, February 11, 2006
自我催眠
人群里面那个我 把幸福遗落
那曾经走过的路口 我停了你却走
我想捂住我的耳朵 听不见你说
爱就在此刻松手分手放手
我猜不透不猜透
和你背对背的走
原来怪我没有
没有爱情的天分你才要走
我想要学会自我催眠
痛觉会少一些
潜意识作祟想着想到失眠
我躺在没有你的房间
寂寞更加明显
我渐渐的自我催眠
却回不到从前
等着红灯那个我 还会向前走
也许那幸福的执着 在下一个路口专属铃声我还留着 却静静沉默
在我们之间爱了放了散了
我会不说不想说
怕说了也没有用
现在我的
幽默只是掩饰着心痛我的难过聪明再多一些
我走在没有你的世界
却走不到永远
我渐渐的自我催眠
慢慢闭上双眼
reflected at 9:45:00 PM
Friday, February 10, 2006
today...trying to wake them up...i design d car then rush to np to prepare chemicals...
GREEN leh...dunno y today s0o HIGH...think bcos yesterday utubing kenshin making me CRAZY///
i saw the three gals in d lab liao...they all
GREEN sia...diyana looks angry...pls accept my apology...the stirrer kept dropping into d acid...my fingers d wound juz like eating my flesh...itchy 0so...then went math...nothing much...she chat with us abit, quite nice...ipc i think i ask t0o much qns..d rest unhappy sia...s0orry...den we da pao go d poem place eat n do trial run...den joyce receive from gerald tat it is d longest dist tat counts...d wheels had problems...if not gentle can oni 5m...still had to touch up...in d end t0o high until dun wan2 go math...but they had to.. s0o haiz...later she release us early den confirm with mdm tan...trial run again...tis time too violence...need
Parent Guidance...d wheels flew off...one instance is one wheels flew down to the ground floor...damn funny sia...i enjoy thruout d process...oni d acid on my hand...n d splash on my SPECs...poor thing it...
my world is s0o clear now!!!
my world is s0o green now!!!
today no thermo presentation...
then bio test very difficult...
all d labs r close...SianZzz...
then rushed to jp by taxi cos shop close at 9...
GREEN specs
reflected at 12:34:00 AM
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
i am s0o0oo s00oorry...i didnt come for commt..the last lesson...Esther Wong is a go00d lec...
i came at 11+ today...cant wake up cos last nite haiz...break my vow again...when can i control myself? refrain urself, kairong...
met brendon..i actually put my labcoat beside my bag...but rushin so forget abt it...he is so good...allow me to take chemicals...
met joyce to do my first trial...more than 1 metre...pro is pro la, somemore without wheels, muahahahaha, i will make sure cka tis time go out with us, to TAKA!!!
stan came...i show him my 2nd trial..didnt move...i cant close d cap...i flare up put all d powder...change to a smooth platform...then it EXPLODED like hell...Z,Z,Z more than 4 metres... i so shock...but my legs damn sticky...then turn itchy...lucky no smell
then i slack thru...didnt study in d end...went orchard...cos stan wanna repair his ipod...bought my PANDA keychain for my laptop cover...it is 2nd series...but they say not nice leh...shopping...
tired liao, joyce met her frenz, we went home...damn tired cos d bus nv came...in d end took 174e...nv took b4, tot we very lucky to hav seats...in d end stan told me need to pay normal fare...no wonder...c i s0o stupid...back home...haven study yet...later wake up study...gdnite!
reflected at 10:27:00 PM
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
kairong...wake up...dun slp...
sianZzz...almost 4hr break...
i should b studying? haiz...
my precious choco milk had expired...2 jan...
now havin milk effect...
no tuition...finally can rest...but test on thu...report haven done...watmore d chem e car haven design yet...next mon competition liao...sat need to come back...SianZzz...
i dun hav even one week break for studyin lor...
thu i wanna be happy, to be happy for fri...help me...
reflected at 12:41:00 PM
Monday, February 06, 2006
today s0o happy...wore my new year shirt...it's GREEN...guess wat...i felt tat i looked like a GAY...guys i really appreciate if oni u all can praise me for looking like a girl...not Gay...pls...today joyce lost her purse...then nothing else...i wun type so much now...i will control myself...juz like wat i did when a girl with green bra strip walked past me...muhahahahahahha, i'm CRAZY...kick my ass Darling...my beloved...mcuk!
reflected at 10:16:00 PM
Sunday, February 05, 2006
i didnt went to 拜年...too tired...
tutoring receive 2 hong bao instead...wow...the ganny very good...i haven open yet, muahhaha
went to buy assessment bks at jp...
curious abt d green shop...step inside n greet by a man...ask him for a green specs...with d attached things...i dunno how to say...pointed to a model tat look alike...then he point to me...i took a look then say thk n left..............................................................................................................
hawker centre....today the fried kuay tiao taste bland...rushed home...........................................
wait for 178..............................................................................................................................................
back to jp again...................................................................................................................with money
another guy...tested my eyes...then pick lenses...took me a long time...cos he very gd service...keep on changing lenses...but some i felt not much diff...reverse still clear, change liao 0so clear...then check another eye...but no diff...but i really got one time mistaken P for F........
then he wrote d cheque...the previous guy asked me did i gone to take money...haha...then he ask why did i want a green specs...he joked tat i muz had like his shop...cos green mah...then d guy ask me for deposit...i pay him the exact cos i dun like to carry large sum of money again....
took 178...met d driver again...so strange...thk d God tat my bus concession ends today.....
on d way i tot to myself...when did i love green? my meaning of green is a mixture of blue n yellow...blue for me to stay calm...but it 0so means depression...so with the cheerful yellow...i wanabe optimistic...green; the color of nature...the meaning of peace...when did i like it...izzit on d road when i saw d green man to cross d road or d green light for my bus to pass...or izzit the island type of green bus...i had forgotten...
reflected at 9:38:00 PM
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Bad news...a frenz told me sumtin...i felt sad cos tat defeat one of my purpose in blogging...cant bear to...不忍心...yesterday nothing to tok abt...oni cross alot of bridges...ya...did sumtin wrong when doing project...i admit didnt put my heart into it when i watch utube...
today..woke up early...utube again until forget to eat breakfast...rush down there...hehe wear my new short...so happy...0so didnt wear bag...muhahahahaha
on bus, saw an indian beauty...got look got figure...i know u all r laughing rite...i know i no taste...but hehe, at least i not racist...muahahhahaha
at the open hse lab...saw brendon's son together with mr n mrs ong's sons s00oo..
CUTE...kawaii neh...eat breakfast cum lunch at sim...a bowl of chicken noodles...she asked d guy b4 me abt release of o-level results...then me abt the school fees in np...honestly...i forget abt it...but one thing 4 sure..she is worried...then plucked leaves n return back to stall...
happy is all i can describe...
some ppl hammered tat pipette loud until everyone stop n look at me...and...
i accidentally split over d bowl of liq N2..damn scare sia cos the ppl infront some didnt wear covered shoes...etc...overall felt like
an auntie giving sample biscuits...muahahahahahaha
tried alot of things...like frozen sotong ball...i like it man...played with d ping-pong balls...ivan made his flower frozen..but it wilt later...poor things...the oni thing i dun like is when ganna scold by a biotech TSO for using too much N2...sianZzz...luckily then i saw m**n...my frenz lor...so late then come...edmund didnt come...whole day nv eat liao nor gone to toilet...everyone fly me pigeon...all didnt want to watch movies with me...i meet my frenz at bustop..went clementi eat mac...then go jp...saw a
green shop...guess wat...it sell glasses...duno got my specs anot...next time will go inside with money...muhahahah
back home...suddenly got
stomachache...duno if it is N2 fault...but got a cut on my middle finger...should b when i hold the bowl of N2 with bare hand...
tis time the open hse remind me of last years...0so recall back my sec sch...
i miss my morning darknessi miss my 93 girli miss my classmatesi miss my teachers esp aidai miss my gay frenz...now starting to gay liaoi miss the smell of burning corpsesi miss the long bus journey esp its breezeback in sec sch day...not much distraction...cos oni got boys n all white...though there is a pretty teacher...now entered into colorful world...strangely more stress...at least i found my favorite color,
green!!!
i s0o timid...should i confess then receive a rejection n go to slp?another thing to note...i dun like to fight with ppl nor be a third party...so i dun even like to c ppl snatching ppl (b/g)F...dun do tat infront of me...i may feel like slaping u...New year Wishes...
Materials:
1) Green Specs
2) Shoes i promised
3) Maybe green attach style earpiece
4) Maybe new wallet
Soul, Body, Mind:
1) Be focus
2) Regain my memory
3) Regain my sleep
4) Regain my speed
5) Regain my eyesight
6) Regain my face n skin
7) Kick off my bad habits
8) Improvement in chess skill
9) Learn guitar n drawing
10) Spiritual Growth...no religious purpose...
I wanna talk more abt 10...i think i chose back to become a free thinker...a free think i dunno its meaning...my teacher last time defines as sumone who dun believe any god...but i think it is sumone who is free in believing...i believe in Buddhism...abit of Tao...then secondary believe in god Mary abit...until start of poly i enter in Christianity...a whole journey blessed me, a blur silly kid......but i dun wan to lose my freedom...in believing oni one god...i dun oppose other gods, i juz wan to be a better man...a person who dun do bad things...juz like sumone said, "i dun care wat u believe, but if ur idea will cause harm to others, i will stop u..." another things is i need to pay respect to my ancestors...i cannot dun hold joss sticks...pls forgive me...i juz want to grow up into a sensible n correct thinking boy pursuing my dreams...thk 4 all d teachings, i will remember them...i hope our frenzships will not destroy due to my decision...in any way tat i had done wrongly...i am deeply sorry...
reflected at 9:16:00 PM
Thursday, February 02, 2006
got up at 11 n rush 2 np...hope stan gets well soon...
bus...met d
freak again...saw sumone familiar...but oni wave a hand...
hunger is makin riot in my stomach...
on d way saw a old frenz...he nv c me..im nt sure...mayb he cant recognise me...or mayb other reason...nvm...tat d reason i dun like to make too many frenz...when long time no see...u dun say hi i dun say hi...haix...
library...doing project with cheng xun...then 2+ he doing his things i went off to eat...
went to meet gin...on d way saw elias...commented abt my missing specs, trying to act handsome...haha, waiting 4 my
green specs...then saw our open hse thing...marie they all in charge...
co-op...doing project with gin...discussion...0so abt
COPYING n
ASKING...both oni hav
A LINE OF DIFF...0so got discuss abt chemEcar...do i look as if i care? for ppl concern:
DUN WORRY, i can make it in an hr...the rest of calculation i leave it to u all...cos i
NO INTEREST...when went home...
i am not sure abt myself...who am i? wat kind of person am i? do i always do d wrong things? do i always say unnecessary sorry? y am i so tired? tired of living? haix...forget to make new wishes...God, giv me
SPEED...enough slp..let me learn guitar...hav my new specs n shoes...n a girl too...
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
Go easy on my conscience
'Cos it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame
Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around
I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But love is all around
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man
31 jan, i meet joyce to go stan hse...helplessly wandering in circles...due to my
unusual frequency tat i misunderstand...my fault...then at stan hse...no CONNECTION...cos he dunno his password...then played card games...later
TAROT CARDs!!! interpreted for joyce...den my TURN...when stan fell aslp...his method really very complicated...first time played d minor arcana...for me...mainly minor arcana, oni got
Ok..three men...two good one bad...tok abt business...no love...in d end i got alot of swords...10...happy ending? i muz not be
SELFISH...
mayb i will buy a deck 0so...but i wanna another design...
then joyce tired liao...left me...doing d presentation slides...until morning stan woke...then i play tarot with him...he damn gd sia...all
POSITIVE...like sun and strength...but he got a card on love problem...can solve out lah...den i fell aslp for one hr...woke up abt 8+...found out they slp 0so...
took taxi to opp beauty world eat (forget its spelling)...think its curry got problem...then there is a stupid lion dance tat kept making noise behind us...they sux man...no standard one...oni act act...went library do OP...i too tired...
Commt..i still cannot defeat myself...kept on shaking...once again being soured...used to it liao...ivan kept sighing...think he very upset abt his performance...me too...when i presents, there is a
HOLY assHOLE eating nuts...fuck him...no respect...still complaint abt me using d army logo got copyright thing...him leh...still use secondary geography world map...shame on him...luckily almost last lesson, no need to look at his bastard face again...how i wonder still got ppl flirt with him...faint...(i miss my CATS tat
big sister...if she was there...her art of speech definitely will make him *&%^%...too bad she gone liao...a successful blogger i nv forget)
after commt went library do thermo...i muz sincerely admit i am
USELESS...cant even do a thing for d project...rushing the lab report...den went printing...too helpless again...i cant even open d com...got password...den went to seek help...he say dun need password, juz press cancel...i went back tried...den seek help again...really need password...den d com lab oni got me...cannot print...d printer cannot function...seek help again...until then he finally find out there is a paper jam...i really felt so
HELPLESS...i juz wan to be a
BETTER MAN...the time had passed 5pm...i was so panick...den at ground floor suddenly bump into another hlm
FREAK...my day is gone completely...took bus n went home...
after i bathe...slp...now eating dinner...the food dun seem edible...
WAD d HELL with ME!!!!!!
reflected at 6:02:00 PM
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
Go easy on my conscience
'Cos it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame
Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man
Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around
I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But love is all around
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man
31 jan, i meet joyce to go stan hse...helplessly wandering in circles...due to my
unusual frequency tat i misunderstand...my fault...then at stan hse...no CONNECTION...cos he dunno his password...then played card games...later
TAROT CARDs!!! interpreted for joyce...den my TURN...when stan fell aslp...his method really very complicated...first time played d minor arcana...for me...mainly minor arcana, oni got
Ok..three men...two good one bad...tok abt business...no love...in d end i got alot of swords...10...happy ending? i muz not be
SELFISH...
mayb i will buy a deck 0so...but i wanna another design...
then joyce tired liao...left me...doing d presentation slides...until morning stan woke...then i play tarot with him...he damn gd sia...all
POSITIVE...like sun and strength...but he got a card on love problem...can solve out lah...den i fell aslp for one hr...woke up abt 8+...found out they slp 0so...
took taxi to opp beauty world eat (forget its spelling)...think its curry got problem...then there is a stupid lion dance tat kept making noise behind us...they sux man...no standard one...oni act act...went library do OP...i too tired...
Commt..i still cannot defeat myself...kept on shaking...once again being soured...used to it liao...ivan kept sighing...think he very upset abt his performance...me too...when i presents, there is a
HOLY assHOLE eating nuts...fuck him...no respect...still complaint abt me using d army logo got copyright thing...him leh...still use secondary geography world map...shame on him...luckily almost last lesson, no need to look at his bastard face again...how i wonder still got ppl flirt with him...faint...(i miss my CATS tat
big sister...if she was there...her art of speech definitely will make him *&%^%...too bad she gone liao...a successful blogger i nv forget)
after commt went library do thermo...i muz sincerely admit i am
USELESS...cant even do a thing for d project...rushing the lab report...den went printing...too helpless again...i cant even open d com...got password...den went to seek help...he say dun need password, juz press cancel...i went back tried...den seek help again...really need password...den d com lab oni got me...cannot print...d printer cannot function...seek help again...until then he finally find out there is a paper jam...i really felt so
HELPLESS...i juz wan to be a
BETTER MAN...the time had passed 5pm...i was so panick...den at ground floor suddenly bump into another hlm
FREAK...my day is gone completely...took bus n went home...
after i bathe...slp...now eating dinner...the food dun seem edible...
WAD d HELL with ME!!!!!!
reflected at 1:40:00 AM