Monday, April 30, 2007
i'm tired of gett'n tired.
anyway, fUsI0n camp was 0ver! had a greAt tiMe^^
lead a team of fun luv'n grp, really enj0y myself.
thou the nitewalk was CHUIed, but Sentosa's trip was AWESOME.
l0ng time nv really eXplore there le.
n was such a l0ng time since i played murderer as a grp le.
gd remiscising peri0d, SLS's trip with jing sheng really was unforgettful.
nv ever tot me being the Game Master tis time. G0t al0t of characters like "selfish medic", "vote-killed face" and "serial killer". meaning, a medic who always saves himself, some1 who always got suspected n received highest vote for being murderer and some1 who always got the murderer's card!
A.C.E= Adorable, Cute n ENCHANTER!
next time shall post our SeXy pics.
was kinda guilty when i kept on fall aslp during tuiti0n. LOL.
went back, had a game of truth n dare. i ti0ed 3 times. suay?
packed up really sucky tired. L0st my voice like hell plus haven had a proper meal since m0rning.
went clementi acc jingsheng to clinic b4 go had dinner.
i think tonite i going to slp at 4am. sianz, recent always tis timing slp, face got side-effect liao. it's raining heavily now n wind blows with slamming windows.
i foresee a buzy peri0d these few days. competition 0so left 20days. undone assignments r a pile of hill. w0rking schedule was even out le. and i'm going to get rid of my com's raInb0w effect. lucky thing is my financial status kinda stablise.
P.S: I was s0 tired n stressed out that i got slptalk during the camp when they said i mumbling abt things like "chess club". OMG, mayb i leaked out certain classified secrets.
reflected at 3:37:00 AM
Thursday, April 26, 2007
life's slpy 4 me recently.
work+chess+bit bit of study=slp.
today damn suay. i slipped n FALL HARD on my BUTTS.
now i think black green liao. so xia suay...i actually saw the puddle of water yet still...LOL!
so damn buay song when entered lab, sumo forgot is bus uncle TSO. he even said abt me putting bag on floor, wad later he moved it outside corridor. i nv bothered him.
then got this new indian lady teaching us. a small grp of us 4. then i v unpolite...slpt infront of her when ivan kept shaking me...seriously not tat i racist but i really dun understand some of her english.."pasturisation" to0k my 5mins to figured tat word...
then we v "gangster", played solitaire on com.
slp thru mirko lesson. he damn funny speech again, "u muz change sg" haha
"promotion got alot ways, but hard-working is nono." LOL
went for chess club meeting. played happily with ivan for two matches^^
i think every1 put in alot of effort (except me) so hopes everything went smoothly.
P.S: i prefer champ than camp. haha
reflected at 11:13:00 PM
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
i'm leading myself to lead a fruitful day.
eg, mon is orange, tue is banana, wed is grapes etc..
ok, quite lame. i not tat healthy...but mentally is.
hav'n my 3rd family. enjoying myself being in d cares of many aunties, haha!
1st day on mon, guided by a senior, Pauline. think she quite tired of me. LOL.
alot of things dun understand. seriously i now think my math like shit sia.
aunties helped to calculate for me.
end of 1st day, lost 10cents. but yong tao hu uncle treat my supper of mee hoon with MANY beancurds.
2nd day on tue, still her. but she b4 nite goes off. she helped me changed my card. supposedly got a man to help me. but he quit w/0 notice. so i am "one-man show" liao lor...chicken uncle told me gd luck.
well, things went quite GG. ALL OF THE "DINGS~~~" made me mad. basically flying ard. can b quite short-tem t0o. end of 2nd day, LOST $4.90. almost fainted.
3rd day, today. worked wih another senior, np 0so. they always said i v tensed n nervous. LOL. cant blame a gemini. i found out actually my smile can b so sweet^^ kept on smiling at all the stallholders like a 纯真的小孩...then most happiest thing was today didnt earn nor lost. EXACT! plus cai ben auntie gv me a free supper n drinks store auntie, as promised, left me a cup of "thick" watermelon! haha, muackS!
quite tiring though, cos i always slp in lect. but worth it, i really like tis kind of life.
P.S: Malay store ladies said my hair today v nice^^ yeah~
reflected at 11:57:00 PM
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Body system finally D0WN.
bad headache, high fever, flu, gastric pain, old leg injury...so much so with broken heart.
recent nite 0so cant slp...always still awake at 3am. singing 现在是凌晨三点钟~~
yest make-up cause me late almost by half an hr. got a 2% quiz.
quite like today my hairstyle though. LOL.
God nv give me time to heal my wound.
during Dr Hu's lec was rushing my resume. then stupid fire alarm rang. actually his lec was boring though, yet i juz got no mo0d 2 slp. luckily his laptop no batt, so LOL tat ends early.
after eating lunch wanna do IS project, yet the most FUCKING thing tat there's no place for us, juz like cka said, "LSCT dun hav enough study area". my body was enduring the tiring hot journey until finally met back ivan n des they all in a com lab. they were watching lame cartoon...
during Dr Hu pract, he ended early. he was a nice lec i muz said due to some reasons which i cant type out here.
went lib with yk. he was playing games while i read until slp. didnt know lib got so slpy music.
then went down to chess. was quite buzy. abit excited first. but the meeting was l0ng tat my body was struggling. then finally went down played with weisong. think i exert my last breath le tat my brain cant think after tat when i played back c.chess.
it's hard to balance the diff chess.
suddenly heard weisong's wallet lost. my image of new chess sem is certainly spolit. perhaps after all, many ppl doesnt mean a gd thing.
it was a long time since chess club ended so LATE. 11pm past, light out still got two gals sia0 playing. heard they astro club. the guys was using handphone light for them to play...
cant stand the gastric in bus back home...cant even imagine after bath, i was sitting on sofa to rest abit b4 eating my late dinner and suddenly i fall aslp.
i wanna cry out l0ud. but there's no sound, no tear. so, i can oni smile.
reflected at 5:58:00 PM
Thursday, April 19, 2007
woke up late. found out abit sicked. sore throat. drank saltwater. brought out old clothes wear n hat cos no time make-up. got new image.."detective"
stoll's crappy lec. so LOL but got chim calcu duno how do...
then went clubhse slp. there's s0 meSsy. then janice came so we play till got s0 many stupid mistakes...then played weiqi with sijia. then was watching ivan VS mervyn. then played with ivan, stressed happily!
P.s: God lo0ks after a sickly me. Kaizi is juz a simple boy who enjoys himself in an non-aircon double-decker bus. Luv the whisper of wind~co0l wind blowing the tired face.
reflected at 11:42:00 PM
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
today to0k a less crowded bus.
then tutorial, new lecturer. a Np grad.
she mentioned abt guys if doing shift wk, wun hav time to acc gf. so most of the gf leave them.
i recalled abt wad dennis's wife said, as their gf, muz be considerate.
so muz find interdependant one...
Dr Hu's tutorial, more power, made us do math which we long nv touch. got limits, differential n sumo LAPLACE...his lecture more funny. saw a video abt bush's Secretary tellin him abt china new president, Hu. then bush ask her back, "so who(hu) is the new president of china?" LOL.
after the lecture ended, i stepped out normally yet saw some1 unexpectedly. ivan was there kept on askin whether izzit the person.
moodlessly went down to booth. moodlessly watch freshie playing "terrorist attack" stances.
was thinking: it is miserable being rejected. yet rejecting ppl 0so cause much pain.
juniors was complaining abt Hi Club opposite kept on playing repeated s0ng. i was waiting for "Becos of U" n when finally the music came, some ass went skip it. Y the hell i'm so suay.
there's a saying, "You cannot have your cake and eat it too." now i'm in my chess peak, cant expect to still hav weiqi's feeling touch. lost 3 matches to Alex today. actually the proverb is 0so hinting me to conc. on my work while giving up on other stuffs esp. romance.
on bus home, was thinking to myself, how i miss HuiYan, Chin Kiong n Eric. they were the wonderful seniors who trained me in d club. without them now, i felt so lonely. the feeling of being interdependant is so tough.
anyway, hoping to start work so0n. can save up n perhaps buy an electric guitar. hoping to hav a new interest.
P.S: i hate ppl commenting abt my hairstyle n appearance. i know i'm not perfect.
reflected at 8:24:00 PM
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
yest.
no mo0d to slp. duno y, juz laid on sofa stoning infront of TV.
from 11 till 3am. mom woke up with baby gal 38.4 degree celsius.
oni hav a short slp, yet ended up in a long dream. a long ago repeated dream.
deciphered as past issue of sawing some1 i hate n future issue of my financial status.
woke up gone to sch. met my pri fren in bus. was quite funny when we were chatting in sms on bus when he actually wanna reserved a seat of me when a gal sat down. both of us was commenting abt seeing a very Deathnote gal.
went for stoll tutorial. as expected, slacked. juz oni went queue up for note. then lecture practically stoll was finding alot of crap to kill time. quite like the comment he made when he said SG ppl to0 money minded tat they forgot how to enjoy. then for rest of lecture after saw cka down, me fall aslp n woke up juz exactly he finished his last slide.
received call frm "boss". think will go smoothly^^ juz waiting for interview.
then went to meet a fren in lib. then main thing is didnt get wad stan said abt "人多". wtf, i tot he meant bustop. and i bloody hate ppl who duno wad is "人有自尊". i hate ppl who directly attack ppl using hidden words. i duno y there is dumbass who need to give reason to sit in a bus. n i really duno y there r idiots who speak LOUDLY in bus like nobody business.
today managed to return my expired lib bks. managed to go specs shop repair my broken one.
P.S: Not all gangsters r bad. N, feeling cant be forced.
reflected at 7:56:00 PM
Monday, April 16, 2007
first Day sch.
not expecting much.
went with ben into class, while duno staring into blank for 20mins?
teacher's fine, quite ok. but lesson not interesting. think not much humor.
sumo next wk PRESENTATION. hope my face now thick enough.
duno y, i started in midst of lesson thinking abt the great fun i had during last sem I&E.
it was d teamwork tat makes me lo0king forward every less0n.
another less0 was with zhiyong, b4 tat i went in first. sat down n found out the teacher was a male. cos i rmb name is eunice...should b female. so i took out timetable n check. so SHIT. not 04-03, but 03-04. wtf, i remained calm, sat for another 30s n steadily walked out slowly...(juz hoping they not LOLing behind)WISP, quite boring less0n format...muz read news. s0o sianz. but at least lecturer was a lively grandma.
eating at cant1.
I DUN0 WAD WR0NG WITH MY B0DY.',"kept on dripping sweats like river flow. s0on i may dehydrate.
i oni w0rn a thin T-shirt... mayb weather change t0o much. or mayb my sign of unwellness.
went to see booth. saw a new junior uncle lee recommended, he quite strong le. didnt know he is 0so defensive. jingsheng said more def than me. after both of us played, i think both of us muz practise m0re endgames.
went back home due to parent stuffs. on bus alone. woke up juz b4 the bus reached my stop. wonder which angel taking care of me.
feeling? leg injury still tangering me.
kinda felt my freedom shrinking.
babies today slping in my hse.
reflected at 10:17:00 PM
Sunday, April 15, 2007
yest woke up early n down to JJC.
quite a pleasant environment.
didnt know the air-con was so c0ld.
hope it was a great experience for juniors.
for me, it was a long ago teammatch i almost forgot.
n i'm quite angry for ppl who dun keep their promise.
afterall, it doesnt concern oni himself but the rest of teamates.
uncle lee trained me for 10min really let me see sight of improvement.
rmb tat very nite after playing with him, i first time felt so helpless n couldnt slp.
so 45min duno y suddenly felt so confident n time is no longer a factor for me.
but yet one disadvantage is tend to get restless easily if opponent spent a long time thinking.
think is tempo diff. needa adjust mind clock adaptabiliy.
but long time nv play long game chess really no mind stamina...till 3rd match i was winning at first yet in d end lose...(lose to a strong opponent is still ok, but if u lose to a weak one, he wun give u a direct stab...but take penknife slowly peel off ur skin) uber sianZ.
went for uncle's wedding nite with a tired mind. he booked a karaoke rm, yet oni he singing. so i try singing when other relatives shy shy...then the s0ngs there 0so limited...mostly not my generation...if got then 0so oni got andy lau, jacky cheung, few anita mui...dun hav leslie...uncle know i like beyond so bought his CD. so i sing oni one beyond song. then after tat heard comment from another uncleX, talking with my dad, said wad "not a cantonese still sing canto song".
i so SIANed half. in d end i didnt wan to sing anymore. so uncle was singing himself. no one join in...like waste of money. then heard another conversation again, uncleX n dad, saying me in hokkien 不三不四... i was really WTF. y do i need to bother abt ur "oldies" fashion view b4 i dress up myself?
i reserve my carefree. n so, DUN u even think abt Contr0ling my freedom.
so i went salvaging the duck meat...till d dinner ends, fetch uncle home. can really see he was drunk happily when he became naggy^^
today is gloomy sun for me. really had a hearty slp. no mood for tmr.
reflected at 5:51:00 PM
Friday, April 13, 2007
pleasant day.
rainy day didnt spolit my mo0d actually, but instead co0l me.
went sch settle stuffs le then went down bpp...
lost my way to find my bus 178...
po0r me went duno went thru how many LRT stations...
in d end really went to take 180 back..sianZ
job stress.
reflected at 9:31:00 PM
Thursday, April 12, 2007
well, back!
erm...think i will post my M'sia trip entry next time.
anyway, juz watched Charlottle's web. it's miraculous nice.
i rmb last time when showing in cinema, i asked alot of ppl to watch with me.
all relucant...sumo told me they had it's children bk, see whether i wanna borrow.
i mean wad wrong...let me being childish for awhile..
i luv Charlotte, a lady who kept her promise.
unlike me, juz went for party world interview. manager told me $900 per mth. long hr, 7hrs/day, 6 days/wk. luv it, cos can chiong wking, after earning enough can quit early. yet he told me to cut hair n hav dull colored hair...i was "erm, how come the chio receptionist lady can hav golden hair"...but didnt said. so i try to comply. then muz buy pant, collar white sleeve shirt, black shoe...which i think will give me a heavy bag....plus he said i muz go clementi outlet...i cant work at their jurong outlet(i was so happy when i entered cos i saw alot of empty ro0ms) cos he said tis
branch is closing down so0n...dots, i rmb clementi damn crowded...sure buzy one lor...nvm i agree with him.
none-d-less, the sweet receptionist called me when i reached home...telling me mon start work, sat is work 1hr extra...so i said ok. but then later she called again, saying is oni $800/mth!!! cos under
3 mths probation...somehow, i didnt reject her...think i will cancel it since all my frenz said dun worth it....DUN WANNA LET ANYONE CUT MY HAIR~
把我的悲伤 留给自己
你的美丽 让你带走
i luv my mom, recent nite always got this mother-n-son session. cos she massaging my leg, while i am SCREAMING away. think this mth i am full of injuries. first is two hands, now left leg. am i able to save my right leg?
reflected at 11:56:00 PM
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Fucking Sunday.Badly got irritated.mayb last nite didnt slp well, after havin 5min chess session with uncle lee..i duno wad d fuck i was wandering outside.i dun understand wad d hell i cancel my tuition anyway.and i seriously got fucked up by things ard me.raining now. moodless to say anything more. if i like some1, i tell it straight. n if i managed to dislike some1, like d stupid fellow on np display pic looking bloody similar to mint sweet sweet's kia, it will take an orange moon for me to like the person again.
reflected at 3:06:00 PM
Saturday, April 07, 2007
forgot abt tis pic, me at furnace. Bright rite? so 阳光男孩!!!
right hand gone with muscle pain n broken nail.
now left hand TIOed blister... see d plant, i muz dig hole deep deep then place it in...hope it grow well...think it will be the TALLEST, cos it drank my PRECIOUS sweat! none-d-less, i did a deed. hope d children like Green Plant next time...n pls, i am happy enough to grow my plant pot by watering it...dun give me a garden next time^^.
quite sad tat xin ying told me tat tmr make-up course is ONLY for ladies...actually i tot of going changi V 拜师学艺...so disappointed...i wanna be like my idol who got his beautician license after passing nation wide exam!!! actually as a v heLo boyboy, i wanna learn many things like cutting hair, fly kite, ride bicycle...
P.S: who wanna buy me those bell tat baby tied to their feets which ringring as u walk??? kpool there got tis cashier gal got...v cute, but her boss v fierce, always eyeing on me...
reflected at 11:22:00 PM
Friday, April 06, 2007
woke up by stan again. so went down to bowl.
saw trainer's wife. quite beautiful.
mac was crazily full. nv saw this kinda of pheno.
proceed str to superbowl alley. damn crowded.
they hosting "bukit badok driving ctr bowling touranment"
while on waiting list, went eat my fish soup as breakfast.
then we found out it will end at 1pm so went to play po0l.
didnt know still got some "feeling" left. but later ran out again.
saw sam leong, the chief. was LOL abt asking him to settle our lunch.
there 0so got dirty pei pei booking out china gals.."teaching" them to play.
finally bowling cleared liao, yet they didnt even make us a call...then went happily grabbing a ball n throw. 1st throw, none pin down...2nd throw 0so. all gone into drain which we refered as "pigging system"...LOL. so i was d lowest pt...even xin ying got strike...so i nv gave up...i BUTT up then twist here n there, make sure hand dun always shake away...then last game i got 2 strikes in a row! more happy is gettin spare!! end up me being the highest pt!!! (they cheated me saying 3 str row of strikes got free turkey eat...) i got made a huge sacrifice...my nail nv cut so v long, then holding the ball in d holes my thumb nail broke...i really WAN MANICURE!
went kfc ate lunch. damn TIOed OWNed...they kept saying abt introducing gals to me...said wad vietnam gals not bad...thai 0so, got tom yam...but wad muz educate them...if nt take my white shirt to canal wash until yellow...wad toilet bowl tot is well can drink...damn bad...they all LOL till uncontrollable...esp dennis...
old stuffs...took a pic as memoir with shuttle bus driver. he's a nice guy who is dragon yr 0so, 2 round older than us. Dennis is 1 rd older 0so.
plus d a fierce battle with stan on 9balls...the ball9 is stuck with ball7. i muz hit ball7 but wan ball9 to later go in...duno how to do tat so in d end cant win...sadly full of regret.
reflected at 11:40:00 PM
Thursday, April 05, 2007
CPTC ends!
never done wad i wan to do...
all disagree my idea, so it's OVER
went played po0l...think i lost feeling liao, plus no more money...
there goes, nana no more po0l for time being...mayb some mths later
dun like d time at d checkpt when returning pass...cos a gd guy opened another counter for np student to queue, then got tis bitch came n shouted(beside my ear, almost NID) at him for d mess...
today saw mint sweet sweet(cant put real name cos scared ganna sued by her)...dun like her v MUCH...tot Dr Hu will present our cert to us...instead is her...really dun feel like taking pic with her. when she returned with us in shuttle bus, she was toking abt Alex's case which got one fellow set up a blog saying bad thing abt him. i seriously quite du lan with her kept replaying, rewind...nag n nag, tat i kept ask her "mdm, for ur safety, sit down la, i scared later u fall"
watched show with trainer n frenz...d show i dun quite like...reaping
then chatted alot at mos again...tmr still needa bowl...haha, today fly pigeon to joyce's clubbing.
OVer is 0vER. but miracle still exists.
reflected at 11:45:00 PM
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Bad Morning. though nothing happens.
juz vexed since i woke up.
v moody, cant even explain myself
d moment i stepped into Cheers, my eyes r on e-thirty.
heard d truth tat they hidden frm me since yest when i was "happying".
if it was a act of comfort, i think they had went too far.
spent 55mins for a stamp on my passport. die die still wanna go LAvender. aint giving up.
P.S: till now i hav nv go clubbing b4. Btw, saw another Marist again at clementi mrt...
God, hope i can give my best again. planning to do something tat no regret.
reflected at 6:27:00 PM
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
neutral day. today oni presentation. abit tired. went to see tour package.
tmr test, didnt hav mo0d study seriously tat i lended frenz my notes.
P.S: d thing i worry didnt happen. should it be considered lucky? scared another moment of speechless. give me 6 more days n till then i shall open my wings n fly!
my fav Rock bands r Beyond n X japan.
a 30mins+ legendary song, "Art of Life" by X japan.
Desert Rose
Why do you live alone
If you are sad
I'll make you leave this life
Are you white, blue or bloody red
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand
The winds of time
You knock me to the ground
I'm dying of thirstI wanna run away
I don't know how to set me free to live
My mind cries out feeling pain
I've been roaming to find myself
How long have I been feeling endless hurt
Falling down, rain flows into my heart
In the pain I'm waiting for you
Can't go back
No place to go back to
Life is lost, Flowers fall
If it's all dreams
Now wake me up
If it's all real
Just kill me
I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world
Don't want to find myself lost in your eyes
I tried to drown my past in grey
I never wanna feel more pain
Ran away from you without saying any words
What I don't wanna lose is love
Through my eyes
Time goes by like tears
My emotion's losing the color of life
Kill my heart
Release all my pain
I'm shouting out loud
Insanity takes hold over me
Turning away from the wall
Nothing I can see
The scream deep inside
reflecting another person in my heart
He calls me from within
"All existence you see before you
must be wiped out :Dream, Reality, Memories,
and Yourself"
I begin to lose control of myself
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind
Nobody can stop my turning to madness
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart
Why do you wanna raise these walls
I don't know the meaning of hatred
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love
Stab the dollls filled with hate
Wash yourself with their blood
Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly
"the earth"
Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for pleasure
And what? For love?
What am I supposed to do?
I believe in the madness called "Now"
Past and future prison my heart
Time is blind
But I wanna trace my love
on the wall of time, over pain in my heart
Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live, Cannot end my life
Keep on crying
Close my eyes
Time breathes I can hear
All love and sadness
melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my walls
You can't draw a picture of yesterday, so
You're painting your heart with your blood
You can't say "No"
Only turning the wheel of time
with a rope around your neck
You build a wall of morality and take a breath
from between the bricks
You make up imaginary ennemies and are chased by them
You're trying to commit suicide
You're satisfied with your prologue
Now you're painting your first chapter black
You are putting the scraps of life together
and trying to make an asylum for yourself
You're hitting a bell at the edge of the stage
and
You are trying to kill me
I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live, Do I try to love
in my dream
I'm breaking the wall inside my heart
I just wanna let my emotions get out
Nobody can stop
I'm running to freedom
No matter how you try to hold me in your world
Like a doll carried by the flow of time
I sacrificed the present moment for the future
I was in chains of memory half-blinded
Losing my heart, walking in the sea of dreams
Close my eyes
Rose breathes I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my mind
Dreams can make me mad
I can't leave my dream
I can't stop myself
Don't know what I am
What lies are truth?
What truths are lies?
I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna to live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me whyI want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live, Do I try to love
Art of life
An Eternal Bleeding heart
You never wanna breathe your last
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I'm feeling for
A Rose is breathing love
in my life
reflected at 7:51:00 PM
Monday, April 02, 2007
sweat.
woke up by stan then down at mos for breakfast.
dear reader, hav u ever been to frontier community ctr?
ever wonder 1st, 2nd n 3rd floor in d lift go to library, but y cant press 4th?
so wad 东东 does 4th floor hav? (even staircase up is LOCKed)
had a 2hr+ badminton...tired, think they tired 0so not being exercise too vigorous...
they kept LOLing at my magic stunt..."宝剑出鞘"....damn funny...u wan know play with me...i might show u if u got d "skill"...
then went to lavender...5pm to update passport. the guard dun let me in... haha, not la, she said "NO, u r late, close already...actually the last one is till 4.30... come again tmr" nvm, i think next time i 0so wanna be guard there, can KIAT ppl, "sry u r late" see ppl despo face 0so nt bad...CRY!!!
so went down eat with another fren. TOA PAYOH. long time nv go...was heavy chatting. he havin a target, still wooing. not like me...haiZzz...then took 157 to bukit timah change 154.
hand still shaking...then suddenly alight halfway cos saw behind got my direct home bus...but again like lavender, i already SIGNAL my hand d moment i alight, plus a indian guy 0so call out...juz d stupid uncle didnt stop his bus. GG for both of us. indian guy looked at me swearing at the disappearing bus...me? i looked at him n laugh out...cant help^^ think i go crazy...but then i abit mean to him, cos 154 came not long n i hopped in...non-aircon sumo, shioked. was staring at full moon again. LaLaLA~
decided to stop at mac to reward myself Mcflurry for being so unlucky. took out my LAST note frm wallet n waited behind a Indian family...then another counter open, uncle behind look at me awhile then went ahead ordering. another guy came n queue behind d uncle. so i waited. then i waited till d guy went off...n so much like a kid, i was blurry stoning...till they WAVED at me...
n so, a kid hold his mcflurry happily back home. story should end happily...but again...
another uncle walking infront of me, toward d lift...so i slow down my pace, felt like taking lift alone...n so he went up. then i waited for another lift, but duno y it juz dun wan come down...was staring blankly at an ah pei, messing d rubbish bin duno searching for wad, seem like those waste collector...walk one big round back...i started to press lift button for d lift i gave up on...juz then the lift finally came down, ah pei went in when i was praying hard...dun wanna stand smelly foul...so i decided to take d lift juz now d uncle went up...ANOTHER HAPPY MERRY GO ARD!
God forsaken a boy. Badminton was a strong cca in Maris Stella. i sometime observe their training. think being a marist, i am such a failure. can oni be a Gentlemen, cant be a Athlete...lost my flexibilty i used to buildup during pri when i can split legs. lost my reflex, lost my keen eyesight. cant even be a Scholar anymore, sec sch day i used to have nerdy face. used to be a failing scholar who always lose to time. today saw a fellow wearing a big Maris Stella Logo behind his shirt in mrt, think he JC liao, duno wad Prefect shit T-shirt...then duno y again toa payoh bus interchange saw a Marist wearing sch uniform...how come so 巧? izzit cos i juz saw my sch backview? memory like huge waves bumping at me again n again.
the most happiest day in maris, was no girls to see so no worry. being a happy lamer who shiver every1.
now, i am juz a 没用的残废
reflected at 9:16:00 PM
Sunday, April 01, 2007
woke up early, ard 6am+. rainy day, rainy mood.
put on mp3 almost whole day unwilling to speak.
long time nv went up to mt vernon. visit my dad's grandma.
always peaceful as usual. went to d back to take a look at my sec sch.
familiar building, wordless feeling.
then went to bishan side. dun like to go there...incense alot there, smoky.
teary eyes again. visit 奶奶, dun have any memories of her actually...
then visit 外婆哥哥,rmb as a baby, he seemed to me like v open-minded elder. always give treat, he was my living model.
the rest part of d day is slp. d oni time i'm not thinking...
then TV...long time nv really sticked to sofa n sat for several hrs...watched my left eyes saw ghost...quite touching...abit like cried when sammi kept calling her husband back doing superman poses...
hoping for new haircut new kaizi.
past reminiscing memories.
reflected at 11:13:00 PM