Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Juz a part of my sweet memories to share:
rmb sec2 time, 1 day was suddenly being told we would be visiting charity organisation in 1 wk' time. diff class go diff places. we were being assigned to renci hospital. quite excited, since alot of aged ppl r there. our form teacher/math teacher, young lad mr tan, said tat they would luv to see the presence of kids ard, even propose a singing for us to perform for them. n the song, for me i still cant see the link...was 爱拼才会赢。。mayb a hokkien famous song they could understand bah.
then i still rmb there was a taiwanese classmate we always called him fatty. haha, i can still visualise his red cheek. he was planning to leave sg le, so brought his chess set to give the old ppl. we kinda excited to play with the old ppl, carried the most beautiful+big chess set i ever seen. gold plated chessboard with pieces made of glass(damn, it was SUPER heavy)
reach there n was fascinated by their aquarium...really cheer ppl up, i saw thru the effort behind. abit disappointed when the person-in-charge told us tat their 老棋王 juz eaten his med n needa nap...
ended up we see how another ah pei who struggled to do his handmade bookmarks. we support by helping him do n buying of cos. the bookmarks drew by him, was full of encouraging words. not forgetting, we finally round up with our grand singing! unless those hokkien kia, the rest were almost "ah hee wu a o" down there, waiting for the sentence "ai pia jia eh e***" haha, watched them claps n smiled along as we sing, uber happy~
random stuffs..hated the life of oni leading 6 expensive days per wk.
emo story to tell:
once there was a piece of 6R photograph. as it was always being placed here n there, it got more n more crumpy as time goes. 1 day, it met a photo frame n was happy to be accepted. but unfortunately, things didnt go smoothly. the photograph tries hard to fit itself with the photo frame. it folded it's sides. it teared away it's corners. juz when it tot it can almost be completely in, the truth was, a 6R photograph cant match with a 4R photo frame. well, it was grateful, for during the period, part of it became straighten. so it left, trying to search back for his lost corners while unfolding back itself. for now, it protects itself thru lamination. luckily, it has several bluetacks ard which stick to it. hence, it continues to stand upright.
dun worry, the photograph is still the photograph, no more else. end of story(full-stop)
today stuffs: as 1st sis was saying, director n supervisor seemed to like the 4 words tat came out of my mouth.(recently i speak wadever came out of my mind, if u get offended..too bad!) as 2nd sis was asking, how many i weighed yest, i replied "4"(set? no, i mean purely no. of samples) as mother was doing, transfer of samples, we chatted abt our wkends n when i told her i went to drink, she recommended me her fav drink. so i asked how it tastes like? "as sweet as kissing"(hard to imagine, nv done it b4)
went to have big dine outside with ben, cka n joyce. the rest arh...dun say, all flying planes! kinda bad son, since mom already cooked herbal chick. lalala, dun worry, i eating now.
爱上霓虹灯的夜。walk thru joo chiat until finally reached the chinese "cai guan" i past by previously. tat time, saw the familiar utensils, with the reminiscing feeling upon the wet towel smell...
rmb last time when i was still toddler, haven reached 5 bah, i saw my granny's bro who always give treat in this kind of oldies resturants. in my tiny memory, he was the 豪爽 type ppl. too bad, he drank n smoked alot. vividly, there was a time we had to go somewhere with nurses ard(i supposed is hospital). this was when i first noticed the presence of Jesus, as i pointed(being young ignorance) n asked how come the place has this kind of horrible punishment act to a man...haiz, in the end he died as a result of several blood vessels burst.
as we entered, i take the menu. then i go back cashier again to check if there was more menu pieces since i oni taken a piece. then the auntie say, ya. unknownly, i replied "huh...oni 1 menu..." okok, see how smelly mouth of mine was. nvm. so long as the food was gd, esp the deer meat is damn tender.
then walk sumo to find smelly beancurd. disappointed. not smelly enough de. decided den to geylang eat the famous beancurd. 永和。 duno dir so fetch cab. the driver 0so damn lame. pick an eg. "i dun like this road. cos these drivers dun concentrate when they drive. they either looks ard @ the woman or the food"
recent newspaper got a prostitute mentioned tat all men r stupid. totally agree, i see all the horny man tat pattern...ya, ended up their wives n children will leave them. but she wasnt smart either to depend on these stupid men. anyway, as i walk n saw most of them, made me miss my mom more...juz 1 time, being poked by a gal, i didnt look at her, ppl behind me said she underaged. luckily, my mind tat period had been occupied. still, food is nicer.
silly us walk all the way unknowningly back to the place where we came. felt always blessed, cos bus journey halfway, BIG rain...who know my house there, left few more min b4 came.
P.S: 爱上一个人,比爱着一个人容易多了。
reflected at 12:18:00 AM
Sunday, October 28, 2007
A New Chapter.
Kk, let's first recount abt previous days.
tue morning, max tired. (refer to my previous entry) as usual, we had our daily morning meeting. very short while, abt half n hr. every1 sat down, i dun wanna sit beside the angmoh director, so i chose the seat infront of him. i kept on tahan n bear with the boredom. who know later father extend meeting to find vice-director to discuss stuffs. end up i turn right see father talk, turn left see vice-dir speak with director in between..they nv came to an agreement...so i went into "nodding mode" liao. 2nd sis was kicking my legs under the table...
after the l0o..ng meeting ended, we went for break. father came "kairong, 你真行! steady, 敢在boss前面睡!" then every1 lol. luckily boss didnt sack me. muz be he know after i weighed so many samples very shagged bah.
wed afternoon hana came n find me first. then sat down talk cock with her. after tat father came. so we went to meeting room talk. then she told me muz rmb do report. so father mentioned will view my report first, sort of check for grammer mistakes etc. then she continue, "the report is very simple n short, min 2000 words....." then i peek at his face...i almost wanna laugh~
well, God lo0ks after me. all day went well. samples are still ok. luckily i finished work liao rushed out to the bustop. LUCKILY the bus juz came. reached bl n LUCKILY AGAIN the mrt came. end up abt 15mins b4 the competition starts. we got to draw lots to see who pk who. b4 tat the arbitor was still saying in A,B,C&D if who got A or B is gd, cos both will have 2 red 1 black. C n D will have 2 black 1 red. so i let the rest chose n picked my one last. b4 i opened i turn n tell them i very luckily de. LUCKILY, "A" was written of the paper. MORE LUCKILY, sp got "B". which means tonite will be showhand liao, sumo we red they black. kinda of telling God, "thk, the rest can leave it to us le"
carefully made my team players pairing. ended up as i predicted, didnt go wrong. perhaps juz a tiny mistake which is juz solely my fault, i dun wana say or wadasoever. the moment we sat down on our battlefield, i smiled tgt with my sp fren/foe. cos i expected 2 ppl winning n 2 ppl losing. so the match between him n me will be the deciding one.
first step he made, centre cannon. i replied with horse. such a typical scenario. 2nd moves he made, was 3rd soldier. he looked at me. and we knew both of us r laughing "quietly". normally red will move horse, but he knew i confirm will move 7 soldier. this opening is "good for red, good for black. see who better win", which i used frequently. he purposedly 为我量身定做 this opening to see if i 0so know how handle anot. since this opening will be "bad for red, bad for black, see who worst die", we are basically blocking each other in a sticky environment.
initially, i find some opening moves he made ain't the "best". so certainly there will be abit, or very tiny advantages i can gain. i saw it, but the most i earned his elephant, yet his horse will jump v fast to my area. sort of the fighting had started. guess wad, i made additional moves to defend. cos both of us know this will be a match to pit in term of, of cos include skill, greatly on patience. the one first to rush will be the one first to die. while both of us r stuck, the results of other four tables will eventually pops up. finally, will based on the overall MORAL of the team.
i predicted tat my member will win first. but i'm wrong. instead, 2 tables r down. and the stress had became visible. of cos, i'm adapted to it, since everyday i worked in stress. i was 0so much confident tat my game is still under control, cos time is better for me. who know stress had found my junior as his target.
haha, there goes for my broken n nv can be completed promise. "i could spent my life, in this sweet...surrender"
2nd nite. vs RP. already tot up of my team pairing. but was shocked upon hearing they drew with NYP. so made quick change of manpower. when the comp started, the rest was surprised to see tat i wasnt playing. some think i'm mad or over-confident. but i think the gamble is worth since the juniors had a happy nite bah.
3rd nite. vs NYP. frankly speaking, the nite b4 i'm already spotted my most "steady"(in term of chess) junior abit sicked. n as predicted, luckily i already told another junior tat he muz be present again in case some1 down. i knew my 2yrs nyp opponent will be taking black. so i 0so switch from black to red juz to pray if i can fight him again. but too bad, almost got it. if we drew with nyp, we will get 2nd again. haha, twist of fate happened again. oni jingsheng n i won.
i told a junior. sometimes, when a player lose, it doesnt really means it's his fault. so much so for winning, it doesnt not means he dun have any fault. well needless to say for draw.
3rd placing. actually to me, doesnt really matters since after 1st nite. juz hope this served as a lesson to the junior. of cos, the one who should take up the whole blame, should be the captain himself.
i could still rmb the first time i joined ivp. the strongest team tat time was NYP. me being the weakest in the team, natively thinking of juz playing my game carefully n dun lose to pull down the team. end up i drew happily. but then, i turned n saw huiyan his ears were red. i realised i shouldnt have draw so early without searching further for chances, basically i had done nothing for the team. lost n ended up 2nd. that nite, i hid in blanket n wept quietly as the club president was comforting me on phone. at least this time, i didnt shed any drop.
人生难免有低潮。 可是, 因为低潮, 我们才能看见埋在沙子里 那些美丽的贝壳。 thks for all the shells who acc me when i'm down. well, time has once again, made me mature abit again.
P.S: mother asked me if i wanna learn dancing. juz as i was pondering wad is my next chpt~ i guess my mom will be shock if i tell her this.
reflected at 12:48:00 AM
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
left the home n was greeted by rain. oni to find myself being fetch back in rain again.
nov rain came earlier than i expected. nonetheless, mo0d is back. the killing scent is lingering in the air.
today is so "armageddon" @ work. cos since i tot i can relax after backlog was cleared finally. by applying the theory of "今天的功课今天做" into "今天的samples今天weigh" but God gave me a new challenge. abt 58 samples came. i saw DHL van immediately got phobia. i think add up to crisis samples go to abt 71!
luckily got the help of mother, 1st sis n 3rd sis. i managed to complete 3 sets! but still left abt 20 incompleted.
lol stuff was when they need to have a meeting to decide on their coming leaves to claim. wth, i dun need to attend. cos ATTACHMENT STUDENT HAD NO ANNUAL LEAVES...
unpreparedly went back sch train. back home had a DRAMATIC BUS JOURNEY.
ok, my hands wun tremble le. i have confidence in myself. u juz have to have faith in me. u know who u r. i believe in u so u muz 0so trust me ok?
used to rmb i luv the jacket v much. but after the c*********n, i rarely wore it again. i even started to wear the own jacket i bought. cos i feel tat when i wore it, wad my whole body feel is humiliation. everything is juz my fault.
perhaps it's fate who made it juz tat there is no new jacket this yr. mayb it wanna give me the chance to be able to rewear it with another feeling. i certainly hope so.
T.E.A.M. is abt training hard tgt. abt doing the punishments tgt. abt learning tgt in humble (i dun look down on others, cos i knew if i did tat, i can nv look up again to appreciate the blue sky high up.) abt looking after 1 another.
the keyword now is FOCUS. juz like how we scared contamination in lab, i will try to eliminates any external factors tat seems hazardous. (ya, i shan be bl0gging until it ends when i can flip over to a new chapter of my life.)
P.S: to huiyan, i know 99% u might nt be here. but the promise i made 3yrs ago, i will make it, for the 3 nites.
reflected at 1:58:00 AM
Sunday, October 21, 2007
trembling fingers shaky hands the forever habit of biting fingers juz shivering inside my nervous heart
i fear i cant overcome myself. 超越 the barrier. next wed seems so near.
anyway, tat day ktv heard 2 guys sang this song v nice. made me feel tat the most amazing time to have is with frenz.
可以一起飞翔 一起沦落
first time spend Muslim Eid ul-Fitr(i oni know hari raya, i think stan wanna prefer this) in fren'hse. haha, i got alil' few non-chinese frenz. OK, I'M NOT RACIST. juz to add on, i speak chinese most of the time (90%~, 10% is mainly "yoYoYO", "hello" n "bye2") thks aHmad for his hospitality!
during the dinner talk then i realised last time i made a gal cried b4...all becos of my act of stupidity. next time i will shut my mouth n kept any secret in my bag.
reflected at 6:21:00 PM
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Chivas dAy.
during work, mother quarrelled with 2nd sis. understandable. cos when u're under stress, work pressure...down there got another fellow still nagging at ur mistakes..how u feel? but their quarrel is kinda "to-the-point" and clean. if it was mine, maybe the "3 words bible" or even F word will flow out like poem...
of cos, i stayed away since afterall is WOMEN's war. better be safe.
after work, went meetup with cka, ben n joyce with a fren of her. pulled up to somewhere by a lady...then opened a bottle of chivas...
a complicated place yet all we do is simple stuffs like chatting, singing and drinking. looking can 0so be included bah.
poor ben who drank the purest form...i think if me i will die. taxi driver heard wrongly the destination, made a big U-turn n end up we dun need to pay for the midnite charge...
P.S: going to have a rest for the whole wk b4 going to meetup with aHmad...omg, how long since we last saw???
reflected at 1:40:00 AM
Friday, October 19, 2007
juz another day.
P.S: i tot they kidding oni. but today lunch we really call for canadian pizza into nestle. MAX LOL.
reflected at 1:52:00 AM
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
fret up.
angry with myself. duno y kinda lost my touch again...
angry with some ppl. dun wish to say much here. some ppl i know, if they have substance, they normally got certain patterns. but yet i dun understand, in rare cases, no substance one still got many patterns. i no longer have extra energy to bother...
no choice but to feel heaven is unfair to some ppl. i think is partially my fault for unable to let him see for himself the fruit of his labour. luckily he didnt give up.
胃痛 is coming back. 我是不是太过勉强? 2nd sis was telling me, "你不可以像木头人一直坐在那里, 偶尔也要喝水休息的。。。"
slp in bus when taking it back to sch after work. woke up after b4 clementi to found out the bus became packed...then i saw 1 ah ma standing beside...so i stood up. but of cos i not tat kind will say stuffs like "come have my seat". then the ah ma in d end didnt took my seat...sumo later got those big size man sat on it. WTF! and i left myself standing in the midst of jam.
the most suay thing happened was(3rd time) my hp earpiece finally breakdown...can oni listen to background music, the voice disappeared liao. life w/o music is really miserable.
the oni thing to be cheerful was, i make a lowest record of my phonebill! thks for tat, i think i should be enough to survive this mth. haha, i spent with AGARation which was developed as i weigh endless no. of samples.
P.S: wanna save up n buy an electric guitar. 弹着最喜欢的tears... (ya, i know frenz u guys muz be wanting to punch me, since i had been "dry ur tears"ing duno how long liao...) to me, music is not like milk, expiry date can be v long. 不腻的!
reflected at 11:54:00 PM
Monday, October 15, 2007
Tightening Time
feeling time is getting fewer n fewer...does it means i'm making full use of it?
work is gettin more stress. 2nd sis always like 唐三藏 nag nag at me..."3 sets today hor..." "bottomneck is ur weighing now...faster" even 3rd sis felt pitiful 4 me...
to wad extend they fear contamination? "wah, u use ur gloves do this stuffs then continue back with ur washing? CHANGE UR GLOVES!!!" max wasteful...use gloves as if tissue paper...
waiting for nov rain. 不知不觉快要下了八年的棋 八年前的我 八年后的我 为什么可以喜欢一样东西这么久? 我可不可以也喜欢一个人那么久?
perhaps Perserverance is juz another beautiful word for over-stubborn.
P.S: it's easy have 2 hands clapping. but it's hard to find 2 hands with the matching gloves to create the so-called CHEMISTRY.
reflected at 11:21:00 PM
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Entertainment dAy~
went catch "the brave one" rite after training. haha, long time nv c jodie foster ever since anna n king. well, she still look fit thou her age...DAMN MAN when she smoke.
hmm the show quite average. i luv the detective, for not oni his ability in solving case, he was able to speak directly using the indirect way. well, if u dun understand wad 东东 i talking go watch it lor.
after watching i was pondering whether if there's reali justice in d world. if there was, then y do we always pray for some superheroes to pop out? rite, spidey?
revenge can be a stranger who live in ur heart n slowly take over ur body... if "any1 can cook", then "any1 can kill". woman can 0so be a killer, yet they cant be arrested. 迷死人不赔命。。。lol
but it's 0so impt tat we know self-def. to protect our loved ones. was grateful tat last time mom let me learn TKD, until GREEN-blue tape belt. haha, green is enough! then switch to wushu. i think there's more bonding, since we bunch of kids grew tgt. after learning the basics, we can start to learn short-dist weapon. normally guys chose knife刀 while gals chose sword剑...but coach she wan me learn sword...perhaps i really gentleman! haha, in d end i really like it, being a 剑客, 舞剑like燕子~ kinda regret tat i quit after i enter sec...cant enter my dream sch to learn judo...now not fit liao, wish to learn 永春...but luckily recent training, i finally reach 2nd lvl. 5 more to go!
abt 10 days left...活在残局里的残废人, ard 70+ qns more to complete. i think i got improvement le, but i know tat's not enough. i wanna regain my 感觉。。being able to trust my feel. certain moves i cant explain much, but i know they should be made.
P.S: moonlight shadow is 1 of my fav english song~ going to sing K le, take care!
reflected at 7:12:00 PM
Friday, October 12, 2007
Slackful Day.
i tot i told mom...yet she still woke me up at 7am! IT'S HOLIDAY!!! fainted back.
n ya, i booked mine on 31 jan. so scared, more than PSLE or 0-lvl result day.. mother said the most dangerous illness is 怕这个,怕那个。。。没事也会有事啦!
reflected at 2:36:00 PM
Thursday, October 11, 2007
NEARing...the stress symptoms r poping out! despo for movie, been quite a while le... hana called me today halfway work! haha, working is fun, cos i could tell her i buzy currently. dun wanna dozed off by her nagging.
today i cancel my veg lunch liao. ate 2 plates of chicken rice instead...
痛虽然有深有浅, 泪擦干那就会好一点, 风虽然看不见, 但自由无极限.
P.S: i still make mistakes. i miss sec days when i could singing loudly in class with another ah beng. two famous sentences.
reflected at 6:29:00 PM
Monday, October 08, 2007
Photogenic?
during breaktime(ya, finally i went for break...), suddenly secretary told me i'm v photogenic in the cocktail party pics...
i think i'm ugly, juz tat the photographer v pro, able to freeze my happy moments.
ya, today quite 命苦。。。 juz as wad 1st sis said...i'm a realife CINDERELLA. always being bullied by the stepmother n sisters...
this was how the story goes...i was doing the job mdm A assigned to me. then mdm B came and told me when i free let her know so tat she can teach me sumtin new(actually, the more i learn the more things i can "help" her do)....so while i still doing mdm A's job, mdm C suddenly got stuffs to ask me...then asked if i mind helping her do sumtin. so i put my stuffs aside n do mdm C's stuff...after tat i came back to continue mdm A's job...juz then, mdm B came near n said i v slow tat simple stuffs still haven finished...dun need me to help her do her stuffs anymore...
wad more can i say. i know i'm slow, but i nv stop.
and becos of today afternoon big rain, i 破戒。。。nv went to hawker eat veggie. instead went to factory canteen. suddenly i became the fastest eater. lol! this mark the end of my 1mth n 1wk of vegetarian lunch.
Flower. i dun like to go florist. it gave me the lack-of-O2 smell... i prefer plastic flower since they are more lasting. not all fakes stuffs in this world is bad. at least plastic flower to me is nicer than ppl's smile which hid a dagger behind.
P.S: 看见手和脚上的茧,我才发现原来我也很努力!3wks to my wish, my promise, my commitment. i had found back the faith i once threw away.
reflected at 11:19:00 PM
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Alone Day. but not a lonely day.
been searching for childhood stuffs e.g cartoon. trying to catch em up n complete them.
found a great webbie to kill time. but no worry, i still got self-training. less than 3 mo weeks.
"to neutralise their moves, u need to borrow their strength to retaliate back."
"因为我们真正的对手可能就是你自己"
i need to overcome my fear. i know i cant afford to make anymore mistake again. but do i need to become cold-blooded to stay calm?
i oni wan to make my pieces dance. it is not juz a chessboard. but a stage to enjoy n perform.
P.S: humans dun have wings to fly. but we Do have imagination to fly.
reflected at 9:40:00 PM
Friday, October 05, 2007
Sauna Days...
e...been deeply "poisoned" lately. DL 5 times & Vomit once. now no appetite duno whether izzit liver damaged...or dengue...
changed medication again..3rd set liao.
previously angmoh boss treat the whole dept lunch n booked a coach to fetch us to YUNNAN gdn. stunned.
then next day boss came telling me duno wad promise he made to the rest tat for how long if able to maintain accident-free then he will give treat...so we got curry puffs, lol!
TRUST. i know ppl trust me. mainly thru time, as fren or perhaps my "innocent" face...
but i hope i can trust myself too. i wanna trust my own hands. i hate instability.
thus, i hope ppl trust me becos of my capabilities n skills, not becos of my character. the moment they heard, "DKr", they know they dun need to worry.
juz like when go for haircut, i normally let them cut based on their "idea" on my head.
the lesson of "疑人不用, 用人不疑。"
P.S: i'm a person fond of shifting blames. haha
reflected at 6:31:00 PM
Monday, October 01, 2007
C0cktail + WAITer Day
monday blue. did any1 saw me dozing when i rinsed test-tubes? oPps!
anything shouldnt be there should not be there! understand? even if i open the HPA, father said"dun open...see got rust..quick, close it b4 any1 see..." horrible...he asked me 0so to "hide" something big...then by crook he swap places with the acids..so despo...
i see my boss, big. my boss see my angmoh boss, bigGER. my angmoh boss see my switzerland vice, BIGGEST. doesnt it seems like i saw my great-grandpa? dots, y do they always need to crack joke then LOL like li0n roars...
witness the magic of make-ups...all the ladies suddenly changed sia! but oni mother win liao lor...worn indian dress...haha, we even took a 母子 pic!
my formal smart causal really damn smart. cos 1 clothes 2 uses! black n white makes a professional waiter. mai sia0 sia0 hor.
the li0n dance deafen my ears!
then during the lab tour we need to act act do something...max sian cos duno wad to do(pretend)!
finally the party start. food is damn nice~ esp d teri chick. cant blame la, cos paris hilton co0ked one..lol, is HILTON HOTEL! nothing to do so went chatting with diff ppl. a photographer n a chief. learnt. do wad u like. my way is clearer now! had 3 drinks. red. white. plus a special drink frm wine uncle, "red+spirit". i tell u, IT'S DAMN GD! dr sushila 0so g0t came, asked my 学姐 wad red color i'm drinking...all said i underage...lol.
一直在酝酿 一直在盼望 爸爸和妈妈唯一的理想 二月第一天 一九八一年 我第一次对他们眨了眨眼 等待快点过去多少个明天 希望这个宝贝快快长大一点一点 身体要健康所有的事情都如所愿 Baby长大以后就是小轩 I will find my way I want a different way I'll change the wind and rain There be a brand new day 小时候受伤有人心痛失落有人安慰 现在遇到困难自己就要学会面对 I will find my way I want a different way Nothing will stop me now No matter what they say 困难要用我的坚强和努力勇敢面对 现在用心去追 感觉就对 I'll find my way I will find my way I find my way 一直就这样 找我的方向 不理会别人奇怪的眼光 直到有一天 我忽然发现 梦想已经在实现 等待快点过去多少个明天 看着自己已经慢慢长大一点一点 我的生活应该让我自己学会掌握 想信自己 不怕风雨再多
reflected at 7:42:00 PM
From a Boy to Man
Once a Marist, always an Officer